The Road Less Traveled

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth

Then took the other as just as fair
And having perhaps the better claim
Because it was grassy and wanted wear
Though as for that, the passing there
Had worn them really about the same

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet, knowing how way leads onto way
I doubted if I should ever come back

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence
Two roads diverged in a wood
And I took the one less traveled by
And that has made all the difference

~Robert Frost

Randy and I have been lucky throughout our marriage; the big decisions of life have come easily for us. The decision for Randy to study chemical engineering; an easy and logical decision. It was a very difficult degree, but Randy enjoyed it. By the time he actually graduated, he had enough credits for two bachelor's degrees. BYU wrote us a fun letter that basically said to hurry up and graduate, or else!

During our engagement, Randy decided to pursue medicine. Another easy decision. We knew it would be hard, but we naively forged ahead. It was an uphill battle to complete his B.S. degree, get his GPA up to par (Randy, math genius that he is, FAILED calculus and had to retake it), and jump through the MANY hoops to be a competent medical school applicant (volunteer service, shadowing, research, publications, etc.). Randy took the MCAT not once, not twice, but three times! In the end, our dreams came true, and we were accepted to our first choice; we've been so happy and grateful to be here.

In the midst of this, we made another decision to start our family, another easy and natural choice. We started our new life, just the three of us. Medical school has been hard, and at times, way more than we bargained for. Randy studied his heart out his first two years, and more times than not, he'd be just one point away from making honors. He studied, and studied, and studied, while I kept the home running and chased around our little guy. He took his Step I board exam, passed it, and then jumped right into his third year. A lot less studying, but very long days. On some rotations, he worked 80+ hours. Josh came to us during all of this (an even easier decision), with colic and reflux, but also joy and sweetness. We made it, and I think it's made us stronger.

Somewhere during third year, Randy decided to pursue Radiology for his residency. It's a competitive residency to get into, we knew it would be another uphill battle, but we felt like it was the right and natural course for Randy to take. A research opportunity all but fell into Randy's lap-an all-expense-paid trip to Bombay, India for one month. We knew this would be the golden ticket Randy needed for his upcoming interviews, so we gladly accepted with little reservation. It seemed that our trail was once again easily forged ahead for us.

Then a little bump in the road: A rotation in the Intensive Care Unit. Call every third night was grueling for Randy. He enjoyed the learning, but he was tired, and burned out. The reality that he would have rotations like this one, for a year during his internship, hit us hard. And the reality that a Radiology residency also meant a 60+hour work week for another 4-5 years after that intern year, hit us even harder. It wasn't just the 60 hours that was hard to swallow, but the many hours he would need to study just to keep up. And once residency was over, it is a 50-60 hour work week (plus call) until retirement . We took many walks up the canyon this summer, and talked and talked and talked about our options. Randy kept mentioning Pathology and how he couldn't quite take it off the table. Pathology doesn't require an internship year, and the residency has very little call and the work week is between 40-50 hours. He decided to shift his schedule around so that he could squeeze a month-long rotation in Pathology. He figured that after a week of exposure, he'd be able to make a decision to either stick with Radiology or pursue Pathology. The decision needed to made soon because applications for residency were being accepted in a few weeks.

Well, the week went by, and nothing. Another week, nothing. We spent our evenings talking, going in circles, about which residency would be best. We prayed, fasted, attended the temple, and at last received an answer: Both decisions are good. You decide. So, Randy decided Pathology. And I decided to support him in whatever decision he made. He also told his Radiology professor, who was heading up the research experience in India, that he had decided a different path, knowing that he was burning a big, and very important, bridge. She still wants to send him, and we are grateful.

It has been a few weeks since we've made the decision. At times, we both have felt peace about it. But we've also felt a little unsettled about it. Randy has dreams where he switches back to Radiology. And I almost daily ask Randy if he's sure he still feels okay about it. I think we are feeling a little uneasy because we've never taken this road before: The EASY road. More time for family, hobbies, vacations, and whatever else we want to do. Weekends! To run around and do errands together or play. To not miss out on the hunting and fishing trips, and other family events. To not have to squeeze in a little fun here and there. To live a completely normal life; and no more uphill battles.

I still keep waiting for Randy to switch back. And who knows, he just might do that. But as September 1st draws closer (the first day we can submit our application), the notion that we are actually taking the road less traveled is becoming more real....