Faith. Love. Family.

Dear Future Neighbor,

Ok, we need to get some things straight, if we plan to be friends. Yes, my husband is a doctor. An actual M.D. He's a Pathologist; he doesn't work with actual patients--he looks at their insides under a microscope. Yes, he did go through four years of medical training, but if you have a simple question like:

My kid has a fever and is pulling at his ears, can you look at them for me?

I've been having headaches for three days in a row, why is that?

I get these wierd splinter thingies under my nailbeds-what's that from?

What is a concussion?

He may befuddle you with big words straight from one of his textbooks he had to memorize, but don't let this fool you. He probably just doesn't know the answer. You see, if you want to know about the big offenders such as diabetes or heart disease, he's your man. But for the everyday stuff, you're better off going to wikipedia.com; or better yet, call your family doctor.

Oh, and one more thing--he's not doling out prescription slips at our house. Nope, we go to our family doctor just like everybody else. Well, except we paid $80,000+ in tuition for a medical education.

Sincerely,

Your Very-Unconnected Friend