26 August 2009

Fast Forward. Pause. Rewind.

A friend of mine wrote an essay that captured motherhood perfectly when she talked about wanting to "capture all the joy" that comes from raising children, but just. can't. wait. until bedtime. She wrote, "How could I want to fast-forward, pause, and rewind all in the same breath?"

Motherhood is crazy and I'll be the first to admit that I don't do it perfectly. Randy came home today, looked around at our messy house, and before he could say anything, I interrupted with, "I raised children today." I went to Enrichment tonight (I didn't want to go, but Randy made me) and I was telling a friend that my house was a complete disaster - she didn't believe me because she was just there a few hours before. When we came home, I gave her the grand tour of my house - I showed her each room to prove to her that our home is not always in the immaculate condition that I'd like it to be. I try, and many days are a success....but some days....I fail.

Joshy is my little monster child of late. He is impossible at nap and bed time. I sat outside his bedroom today and carted him back to his bed every time he got out of it. He laughed and thought it was the funnest game ever. After 30 minutes of this, I wanted to beat him. I prayed for alternatives to NOT BEAT HIM. An impression came. I took Josh into my arms and cradled him like a little baby. With his little body curled into a ball in my arms, I lay down in his tiny bed. He fell asleep almost instantly. I let him sleep for another ten minutes or so before I dared to leave. 40 minutes of "get it done" time wasted. Or...40 minutes of time to enjoy motherhood. I am so lucky.


I had to document my sleeping, naughty child...

5 comments:

Cristi said...

This made me cry a little (just a little). Thanks for sharing. I miss ya!

Lindsey said...

Nancy, I LOVE THIS! It is so true. I swear I am either gushing about how adorable my children are, or complaining to Jake about the naughty things they did (by they, I mean Liam...) We too have the get-out-of-your-bed-a-million-times game at our house. It is really the funnest at the end of the day when all you want to do is flop on the couch :) I say congrats for not beating, that is a good day!

Rachel said...

That is a sweet moment. Thanks for sharing those thoughts. I need to pause a little bit more :)

Adair said...

Man Nancy, you captured my thoughts perfectly. You are such a good mom. I can just see it in how you treat those boys. They're lucky. Hey, can I come visit you guys. Are you up for a visit say, next week? Let me know

Kimbur said...

So true Nancy!